Mood

My mood of late, can say am better but don't say I'm really that happy either. Just there! On birthday, I forgot to take fluoxetine & ended up at night having suicidal thoughts! Coming appointment at ENT for VBT requires me to stop certain medicines like fluoxetine & others which causes drownsiness too...plus don't eat 3 hrs before the test. Sat going for fasting blood test, seeing Dr Tan on coming 23rd dec.

Feeling fatigue & always in pain. Of late, been having hay fever, pain, coughing, flu..recovering now. People saw me happy, oh well, am just trying to mask my bottom feeling. Just don't wish to dampen them with my depressing mood.

Ya, I'm left with not much cash right now. Am trying to scrimp as much as I can to save up for medical fees. Last mth alone, over $400 deducted from my salary. By eating cup noodles, I can save transport fee going out to eat even the economic rice which will cost me $2.70 at least. No one will take pity on you if you have ni money, in fact, they will shun you.

Dislike being obese

I dislike the way I am now, being too obese & putting on weight. My Diabex program is stop temporary due to follow up visit to cardiologist to ensure everything is alright before I can continue with the exercise.

Every since my exercise regimen is stopped, I've been putting on much more weight! Am eating a small bowl of rice with vegetables & meat/fish for dinner, cup noodles/ bread/ oatmeal drink for lunch, 2 slices wholemeal/ multi-grain bread with chocolate spread/ low fat cheese/ jam/ tuna & biscuits for snacks in btwn.

I just don't understand why at times at certain period can crave for chocolates a lot!! I just have to restrict myself to 2 pieces of it, otherwise I can't wear my size 38 pants, plus weighing machine gonna spoilt!!

Stop it! Just stop eating!!! Eat vegetables, chee cheong fan & soupy noodles. Don't eat meat, please for god sake!! Must reduce more weight, 20kg, okie?!
Be it new year resolution!!