Session turns out very good - TUVM Dr Lee

Tdy, I sat opp Dr L & she was quite surprised...she asked me what happened. This is what happened, I woke up found lotsa bite marks on my fingers & arms & belt around my neck.

Dr L: "Were u suicidal at that time?"

Myself: "No. I don't even know what happen actually & it was terrifying."

Dr L: "Did u lost weight? I see that you lost a lot of weight, do you?"

Myself: "I don't know coz I din weigh. But recently, after taking topiramate, got metallic taste, my appetite dun seem gd, din eat much."

Dr L: "Well, at least the medicine works...Well then, drop the medicine since so many side effects which u told Eunice."

Nodding head...Dr L, my right fingers joints & arms seems like dislocated, seems like bite too hard ya...blue black too...Uhum...(Dr L)

Dr L even brought up saying she knw at one point of time I went to LIFE gym quite often, of course, that time the DD was very nice to let me go during office hrs using time off but not now of current situation due to new DD. She asked if I can go LIFe after work & why not..coz by the time I reached home, very dark, can't see well..I wished to go LIFE gym....I like..

Dr L asked if I can exercise at home, whether got bike & was it stationery or mobile...I had both. She mentioned exercising will be good for me, helps in recovery too..

Coming to work stressors....she suggested gg back to prev dept to work or try working at other depts..no point I stay at the new dept & stressed out, keep coming in & out hospital A&E all sorts of that,,,will be not nice also. She asked for my green light to go ahead to call that fella HR snr mgr to settle once & for all & I said GOOD. Also she said she had to scretched out her appts just to always see me earlier. :p

Probably, HR snr mgr called up Dr N...wonder what she said...HR snr mgr always said that Dr N very nice one, coz company got few staffs seen by him.

Dr L asked if that HR snr mgr close to me...wanted me to have talk with HR 1st but I gave green light for Dr L to call her up. Letting her knw the situation. With that, session ended half an hr, keep old appt & hopefully need not see me even b4 the appt time again. Oopz...sorry about that, Dr L.

Actually, Dr L is very helpful & I appreciated it. TUVM, Dr L. :)

After the session with you, felt my mood lift up wor..hee

Wat a day!!

this morn, emailed to info my nurse whom called Dr Lee & Kevin, told me must go A&E. Called my mother up...went to A&E & seen by Dr Soh.

Ward full at SGH, then discharged by signing legal docu & my mother had to ensure I do nothing foolish till I see Dr Lee this coming thurs.

Wait till 11pm, get to have my dinner...Coz oso mother rushed me to pray for safety. I also got a new god mother..I like my new god-mother's shih tzu named bobby. Called his name out, he run to me...so cute!

Msged my snr mgr whom replied saying must let "us" know when seeing Dr Lee...it's like telling me HR snr mgr n my snr mgr wanna go with me to my pdoc appt...which I mentioned earlier on sms this coming thurs. HR snr mgr only wanna 'kpo' so called out of concern. Kept citing head of psy dept at sgh v good coz got company's staffs seen by him...duhz

IMM Daiso & Wanchai

Today went IMM to Daiso & Wanchai. Can shop at Daiso for so many hrs manz..been long time since last shop there...bought lotsa stuffs...jap food buckwhea, udon, seaweed, soap, clay facial foams, pvc for veges...

Felt so hungry & dizzy...had breakfast at 10am but it's already 3p.m. plus. Brought mother to Wanchai, had few stuffs...not bad....see sliced pork bun look TL but hor, DAMN NICE!!

A space for mental illness

http://www.mentalwellness.com/mentalwellness/bi_working.html

After going thru the above article, I wonder is there a space in spore for people suffering from mental illness to display their art & also special job placement.

My new medicine - Topamax

Catalogue of side effects for the anticonvulsant Topamax - generic name Topiramate - which may be prescribed as a mood stabilizer in the management of bipolar disorder.

Appt today

today went see Dr Lee...asked me why I need to see her earlier as everytime my mood also very low. I told her it's not I wanted to but the A&E doctor actually insisted I see a psychiatrist on tues. After which, he asked which pschiatrist am seeing, so I told him Dr Lee Huei Yen. Doctor suggested seeing her today. So Dr Lee smiled.


I mentioed could be I knew my dad's condition deteriorated very much thats why my mood very low & then I can blast for no reason which I couldn't control myself. I brought up the matter of adding mood stabilizer since she mentioned to me much earlier on. Dr Lee prescribed Topiramate 25mg & told me it's very low dosage, to try for 3 weeks 1st thou it may not help initially.

Supposingly Florence Fong - medical social worker (MSW whom saw her yesterday only) called Dr Lee & informed her that since I don't benefit from psychotherapy with snr psychologist Kevin Beck & that I have counsellor at LFC & art therapist, need not go SGH for so many appts.

Informed Florence am seeing counsellor & latest arrangement art therapy at LFC which is near my house. Florence cited since don't benefit from psychotherapy & nothing much, might as well I let Dr Lee know directly but I told her wait Dr Lee won't like it as she's the one whom personally arranged Kevin to have psychotherapy session with me.

Dr Lee told me she's fine with it (thou sounded not happy) out of the blue that if I needn't see Kevin. I brought up my counsellor at LFC even gave me th CBT form to do as homework. When I shared with Dr Lee my drawings, wow...I like the expressions on her face...hehe She kept looking thru it. She will be seeing me on 12 Aug.

Art therapy

I got email confirmation from my art therapist, will be starting next wed alternative weds evening for six mths. Looking fwd to it.

Argh!! A&E dr wanted me to see psychiatrist ytd

when I went for profusely sweating which aint salty, S.O.B, dizziness, low BP, diarrhea...but Dr Poh asked me whether I feel like killing myself or low mood. Told him my mood's been low & he immediately asked if I wanted to see psychiatrist at that point of time which I dun want!! I saw a skinny female psychiatrist walking thru n fro to an indian man...seems like Dr Ng!!

Then Dr Poh asked if wanna see my psychiatrist earlier, so I agreed lor, wait he want to ward me how? Appt letter wrote, patient request to see Dr Lee HY earlier...duhz..

Shocking news!!

Japan mother, 34 'killed' her 5 yr old child after divorce & moved to new apartment, this is really shocking but probably the mother is suffering from depression.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100714/tap-japan-crime-child-d1078a1.html

Updates

I was on mc fri, thurs night, went to see GP. Happened she also knw Dr Colleen whom is her classmate's sister. I was utterly fatigue, sweating non-stop n sweat is not salty even. Something is very wrong!!

Went over to LFC to meet my art therapist Jun Lee whom Winny Lu referred me to as additional to aid in my recovery. Jun is very thin, long hair wearing specs. Inside the room, Jun told me to fill up the questionaires, like rating what I like or dislike art materials, how well I like myself, what I hope to gain from the session...2nd page, I was tpo draw as quickly as possible something with title & asked me to share why I drew the picture.

Jun told me that ometimes, she may challenge me the timing & use materials I dun like. I cautioned her sometimes I can get very angry like stepping onto 'di lei'. Jun asked me whether I will get violent, I dunno for sure too. Wanted me to let her know if I am gg to get violent..haha...

Once a pax violent will let the other pax knw meh?

Jun went out & came back, informing me Winny wanted to see me later at 4p.m. This time, another room with nice cosy sofa which I made myself at home. I slipped out of my slippers & cross-legged on the sofa. Talking about my dad's condition, I couldn't control my emotion & I was in fact too emotional, that I broke down...argh...

Daddy's condition

Mother visited dad today & was informed to prepare myself mentally that anytime dad will leave us. His condition deteriorated very badly. However, I just couldn't hold back my tears...afraid my depression will sink much deeper.

How about a Donald Duck for a change

OUCH! IT hurts to have MIGRAINE attacks this morn

which is very disabling...I msged my snr mgr taking leave to rest at home. Woke up at around 11.30am, had packed lunch & started on my drawings.

Feddup unable to draw faerie buring her face!!

Am so lucky

to won myself the NIKE jacket from Health Xchange quiz!!

Couldn't believe my own eyes

Wow! I couldn't even believe my own eyes that I could draw so well!! My 1st attempt looking at the internet picture & drew it out...lol.

Dying to be thin

http://www.healthxchange.com.sg/healthyliving/DietandNutrition/Pages/Dying-to-be-thin.aspx

Who doesn't wanna be thin, myself oso dying to be thin. Yea, I've lose 3.5kgs & way to go...jiayou. Psycho myself....slim slim slim...coz SGH A&E MO doc lady whom attended to me drew blood from my thigh said am fat!!

Appt with pdoc this morn

Dr's weather not good today ya, took her frustration out on me! Why am I the only one whom always tell her my mood no good, whereas others will tell her "am fine" thou mood no good. In addition, I always bring up stress at work, frustrations...Dr said unless I wanna quit.

In that case, my depression will be forever & that no matter what, medication won't be able to help me if I dun learn coping skills & manage my anger. Citing that she finds me am attention seeking acting like a less than 15 yrs old & I may be independant physically but not emotionally.

I couldn't hear what she said initially about...she said "self-soothing" like hving a pacifier, must know how to pacify ownself without others help. Well, I can do that but I didn't asked her, then why in the 1st place she wanna get married? Who doesn't wanna be loved?

Wanna share with her about some stuffs & she queried whether has it got to do with my depression or not? Duhz!! I just wanna share but then she didn't catch my jokes at all!!

Dr asked what did Kevin do to me...juz talking abt stress at work lor...what else...Dr said there must be some happiness & I musn't focus on negative things. Brought up to her that I had a good counsellor from lakeside family centre & she asked me where it was. Maybe Dr's curious...even when I mentioned my counsellor arranged art therapy for me. Dr asked if am going & that I should go for it after she saw my drawings. Yes, am going...coz counsellor's doing for my own good.

Dr asked who lowered my zoloft dosage...it was Dr Colleen-Snr Consultant from Internal Medicine when I was warded for food poisoning. Dr then up back for me & see me in 5 wks time. Told her my mgr asked me same questions again about whether SGH docs talk to one another or not, otherwise, no point going for all tests & reviews plus medications, see no improvement, might as well don't go see doctors.

Dr said she agreed that I need not see her like in 3 weeks time, 3 weeks time since nothing has changed much for me, seriously..I told her I oso seriously telling her..what my mgr meant is not to go for all my appointments in SGH!! Then Dr said, then that I don't know but for hers, can see me in a month's time. Eeewss, Dr's mood also fluctuating but then she's good deep down.

I showed Dr my BP's readings & she said it's a bit low side & that propanolol hcl can lower my BP & I should see my GP/Poly or Endocrinologist but my earliest appointment is 1st Sep. Dr's steel externally but tofu internally.

Session with my LFC counsellor

Ytd afternoon, went over to LFC to see my counsellor. We had a very good hilarious session with role play which I couldnt really shouted back to her coz she's very nice lady.

Just now, she called me up asking me whether am interested in art classes as she saw my drawings & that I like to draw. So I consented & she'll make arrangements.

Sarcastic ex-colleagues!!

am very upset over my ex-colleagues sarcastic remarks on my facebook when I mentioned my non-camera hp spoilt (dropped in hospital).

Y mentioned she just recently bought htc hp for $68.
J said surely I can afford it right?
Myself said: NO! Mine's prepaid card leh.
Y asked why? u mean u can't afford to buy hp?
Myself asked Y back, why? u wanna gift it to me har?

Anyway, bought the SE G700 biz ed again as I like the functions esp touch screen, mp4 and almost everything.

If I buy hp without contract, surely expensive. Don't tell me because the hp will be free with contract that I had to be bound by the contract & don't even fully ultilise the package, will end up spend much more money.