Yesterday, I was asked whether I could do some data entry for her, of course, this shouldn't be a problem but then needed to be up at the 'prison' immediate. How could X just insisted I go over to the team without asking me? Keep saying I can one lah...
Went up to take a look & new M briefed me stuffs & even said it's my mindset. Worst thing is that M said am using my illness as an excuse. If I can make my way to work, surely am well enough to work & not for 8 hrs, I couldn't do anything. Don't use tears to attract sympathy. All is in my mindset & that I need not waste money & time seeing psychiatrist, psychologist & so on. Told me if am sick, might as well stay at home.
Asked if I wanna get to be assessed by HR or quit by myself, that really hurts me deeply! Citing that M will push me in order to help me do my work. Sighz...till now, they still don't apprehend what's depression & even my anxiety.
M wanted me to sit at the very open space cubicle & to oversee contracters. Telling me that the corner cubicle I chosen is way too far to see contracters & that it's only temporary which I don't like. M even told me if I couldn't meet the target, might as well I go, don't waste her manpower.
Feedback was my peers feel that am unable to finish 5 cases per day & M felt very disappointed. Told me if I can write very well at the blog, why can't I do work. Kept telling u all trying to help me & I need to help myself too. What makes u all think am not helping myself? No point talking to people with no wisdom at all!!
I felt so overwhelmed & being too pressurised. In addition, got a call from nurse at Apex Harmony Lodge that my dad had problem dificulty breathing at his left side & needed x-ray. Mother went but to find out dad's alright.
Had hard time during last night's exam. Before I left for class, my migraine is attacking & feeling very DEPRESSED. U think u're helping me but do u know it's having a very big negative impact on me. Like 'Forcing Tiger Jump Over the Wall',
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