After seeing Dr Lee on 16 Sep, went to ladies, hide inside the cubicle & cried my heart out. Am just so tired of life, felt like popping lotsa sleeping pills to sleep forever but does it really made me sleep forever?
I couldn't fell asleep with lorazepam, only with zopiclone that am able to fall asleep. Don't feel like my usual self...been extremely low mood for no reason. At nite, thinking of my mother's medical condition & myself, felt so bad for not able to provide for my family & that including my dad residing at Apex Harmony Lodge.
Felt so Lost, Hopeless & Useless. I don't feel like doing anything...except sleep & watch some TV programmes...thats all.
As one will notice, it's beena while since I last blogged online. I really don't feel like going online, dont surf or play facebook games that much. Nothing seems to interest me of late for >3 weeks. What happened to me? Am just "Alien"...wanna work or don't wanna work, am not for sure either.
I really feel extremely lethargic, pain in my shoulder blade, joints, spine, knees & ankkles...headaches & dizziness & sleepiness is all am feeling. Sometimes legs & hands numb numb... Can I numb my own emotions?
Don't ask me to recall back my art exhibition, don't ask me to go out...am afraid of crowds...I don't even feel like going to the LIFE gym this coming friday... Am just so afraid & scared. Physiotherapist advised me to get an earlier appointment to see orthopaedic but it's that I had to wait till 14 Nov...to get an earlier X-ray.
Nothing seems right...everything goes wrong Wrong WRONG!!
You will never feel what am going thru & without a job, had to seek for financial help... It's so degrading... Left with very little money, I don't know what to do. I couldn't support my parents & myself even. Am just WORTHLESS.
No comments:
Post a Comment