Psychologist & MSW, if u dun hv the confidence then in the 1st place, dun take up my case. Dunno what the 2 of you told pdoc, wth! Cant carry out ur job nvm but dun anyhow twist words to pdoc.
It's important for the therapist & me as the patient to 'click'. It's very torturing. Supposingly session is an hr but on 2 occassions, when the patient before me 'cuts into my time', psychologist only had less than 30 mins with me!! I don't even gain anything fm psychological sessions, keep telling me sometimes, psychologist loves to play in the rain...Why tell me all abt psychologist personal stuffs?!
Just becoz I told psychologist I dun like psychologist, dunno what psychologist told my pdoc!! WTH!
Dun trust anyone anymore...Felt so BETRAYED by psychologist!! I HATE TAT PSYCHOLOGIST!!!!!!
MSW told me to work at KFC collecting trays & throw rubbish even though he asked me whether I'm afraid of dirtiness. I told him I'm very afraid of dirtiness & that I have nose allergy. Did he tell this to my pdoc? Keep telling me to be 'obedient' at work even if being bullied at work or ticked off by colleagues, anything just tell him.
MSW even kept on asking why that day I wrote email to pdoc about the incident whereby he didn't meet me on the suppose decided appointment. Anything need not tell my pdoc, just tell him.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Can't work in environment with viruses
2nd day at work, 18 Oct, was on morning & afternoon shift - (8.30am to 12.30pm, 2.30 to 5pm). There were many patients, observed my 2 colleagues like extremely busy & stressed (in Canto 'Dou Xie Lot Hai'), couldn't do anything to help them except to register & retrieve patients' cards.
I could feel myself shaky & sweating non-stop. Went to nearby KouFu to have lunch but I was tense up when I saw lotsa people inside this small kopitiam & indeed I was overwhelmed. I couldn't take it anymore, went over to Long John Silver where it's much quieter with lesser crowd, sat down had a drink...trying to calm myself down as unable to control my tears & felt anxiety flaring up uncontrollable.
One side of me saying am so useless, on the other hand, I can overcome this but I can't! =_=
I smsed my colleague about it & she informed Dr. I went back to clinic after I've calmed down. Dr W saw me when she's back at clinic, telling me that by now, I should know I can't work in clinic. I shouldn't have 'melted' & she got sick patients too.
I don't blame her as I can see from her point of view. In fact, am grateful to her for giving me a chance to work in her clinic & she's also understanding despite knowing I've got lotsa appointments & my chronic illnesses. Dr W told me she gave me tues afternoon & wed morning off, making sure I took alprazolem (anti-anxiety medicine) 1st before letting me go home. She waived the fees but gave me 2 days pay.
Friday, I wasn't feeling well feeling feverish, bad cough & flu. Wanted to report for work but ended up seeing Dr S at Clinic. I also wanted to let them see that am really unwell to report for work. Dr S asked me whether I know why I can't work in the clinic & yes, of course.
Dr S told me she told Dr W that with my diabetes, my immunity is very low & can easily catch viruses in their famly clinic. Dr S kept asking Dr W she seriously want to hire me. Dr S's intention was like don't because I can't work in their clinic & PLEASE don't even work in other family clinic. If I catch viruses then my health will further deteriorate. Dr S also waived the fees on friday & gave me Glucerna SR supplement.
I could feel myself shaky & sweating non-stop. Went to nearby KouFu to have lunch but I was tense up when I saw lotsa people inside this small kopitiam & indeed I was overwhelmed. I couldn't take it anymore, went over to Long John Silver where it's much quieter with lesser crowd, sat down had a drink...trying to calm myself down as unable to control my tears & felt anxiety flaring up uncontrollable.
One side of me saying am so useless, on the other hand, I can overcome this but I can't! =_=
I smsed my colleague about it & she informed Dr. I went back to clinic after I've calmed down. Dr W saw me when she's back at clinic, telling me that by now, I should know I can't work in clinic. I shouldn't have 'melted' & she got sick patients too.
I don't blame her as I can see from her point of view. In fact, am grateful to her for giving me a chance to work in her clinic & she's also understanding despite knowing I've got lotsa appointments & my chronic illnesses. Dr W told me she gave me tues afternoon & wed morning off, making sure I took alprazolem (anti-anxiety medicine) 1st before letting me go home. She waived the fees but gave me 2 days pay.
Friday, I wasn't feeling well feeling feverish, bad cough & flu. Wanted to report for work but ended up seeing Dr S at Clinic. I also wanted to let them see that am really unwell to report for work. Dr S asked me whether I know why I can't work in the clinic & yes, of course.
Dr S told me she told Dr W that with my diabetes, my immunity is very low & can easily catch viruses in their famly clinic. Dr S kept asking Dr W she seriously want to hire me. Dr S's intention was like don't because I can't work in their clinic & PLEASE don't even work in other family clinic. If I catch viruses then my health will further deteriorate. Dr S also waived the fees on friday & gave me Glucerna SR supplement.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Work updates
Am so grateful that Dr Wong willing to hire me as part-time clinic assistant despite knowing my conditions.
Tdy 2nd day at work, went for lunch, still ok but dunno why later rest to have cold tea, suddenly anxiety flaring up. Cried a bit & dunno what to do. Luckily my boss is a doctor, she prescribed anti-anxiety med for me & instructed me to take one at the clinic 1st & then let me go hom & rest plus tmr. Told me by now, I should know I cant work as clinic asst, as patients are unwell, I do understand from her point of view. I also don't wish to scare her patients.
Tdy 2nd day at work, went for lunch, still ok but dunno why later rest to have cold tea, suddenly anxiety flaring up. Cried a bit & dunno what to do. Luckily my boss is a doctor, she prescribed anti-anxiety med for me & instructed me to take one at the clinic 1st & then let me go hom & rest plus tmr. Told me by now, I should know I cant work as clinic asst, as patients are unwell, I do understand from her point of view. I also don't wish to scare her patients.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Books to read up
Strongly recommend this book titled "Tackling Depression At Work" A practical guide for employees & managers by Kerrie Eyers & Gorden Parker. 616.89 EYE-[HEA].
More details avail at http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/aboutus/blackdogbooks.cfm
More details avail at http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/aboutus/blackdogbooks.cfm
Monday, October 10, 2011
Am featured in tdy's My Paper
Do check out online My Paper http://www.mypaper.sg/ on page 2, featuring my mother & myself on mental health.
It's also available at AsiaOne http://health.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20111010-304101.html.
It's also available at AsiaOne http://health.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20111010-304101.html.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Invitation to Celebrating NLB-SRS Partnership in Commemoration of World Mental Health Day on 9 Oct 2011
My mother & myself would like to thank Silver Ribbon Singapore (SRS) Porsche & team for tdy's event at Toa Payoh. Allowing us to have opportunities to share thru media interviews & hvg Diana staying alongside with us thru'out. Cheers! :D
Wow! I didn't expect so many media interviews by Asian Parents magazine, My Paper, TNP, The Straits Times & MCYS about mental health & my depression today at Toa Payoh NLB!! :p
I was in 'Koolz' state despite unable to sleep the whole night as I was really very upset & somewhat frustrated with the job placement, ended up pinching myself & cried the whole night. :'(
Silver Ribbon Singapore (SRS) Executive Director, Porsche wanted both my mother & myself as speakers too.
Journalist from 'My Paper' - Wo Bao, told me it will be published in tomorrow's papers. Suppose same goes for the rest too. :p
Wow! I didn't expect so many media interviews by Asian Parents magazine, My Paper, TNP, The Straits Times & MCYS about mental health & my depression today at Toa Payoh NLB!! :p
I was in 'Koolz' state despite unable to sleep the whole night as I was really very upset & somewhat frustrated with the job placement, ended up pinching myself & cried the whole night. :'(
Silver Ribbon Singapore (SRS) Executive Director, Porsche wanted both my mother & myself as speakers too.
Journalist from 'My Paper' - Wo Bao, told me it will be published in tomorrow's papers. Suppose same goes for the rest too. :p
Friday, October 7, 2011
Session tdy
Tdy went for psychology session despite hvg sickness...later appt with Chyi Wai whom arranging job for me via Dr Lee.
Tdy session with Janet less than 1/2 hr...I got frustrated...I reached LIFE at 10.46 am, appt time is 11 a.m. but I was seen at 11.25 am & ended before 12noon. Previous appt, same thing happened...there was a patient inside, overtime which cut into mine & my session ended up less than 1/2 hr.
I told Janet that I dun like her & that it's not getting anywhere...am so FRUSTRATED & cried. She dunno how to break ice by asking questions but she said she asked & I didn't answer but I dun feel like answering them but she could rephrase & prompted me something in order to get something out of me.
So Janet said she'll tell Dr Lee about this that I wanted to change another therapist as this is getting to nowhere. She wanted me to thank her & 'gou gou shou zhi'.
After am out of LIFE ctr, Kevin saw me & asked how am I & that I dun looked that well to him. Kevin's v observant.
Saw Chyi Wai, told me next time, anything, just let him know instead of gg to Dr Lee...lol...
He asked if am still angry with him & I told him NO!! If am still angry, tdy wont be coming to see him lor..& he laughed.
He will arranged forme to work at JPs KFC to collect trays..asked if am scared of dirtiness..YES! I am & am allergic to dust too. He asked to give him 2-3 wks to arrange the job for me.
Tdy session with Janet less than 1/2 hr...I got frustrated...I reached LIFE at 10.46 am, appt time is 11 a.m. but I was seen at 11.25 am & ended before 12noon. Previous appt, same thing happened...there was a patient inside, overtime which cut into mine & my session ended up less than 1/2 hr.
I told Janet that I dun like her & that it's not getting anywhere...am so FRUSTRATED & cried. She dunno how to break ice by asking questions but she said she asked & I didn't answer but I dun feel like answering them but she could rephrase & prompted me something in order to get something out of me.
So Janet said she'll tell Dr Lee about this that I wanted to change another therapist as this is getting to nowhere. She wanted me to thank her & 'gou gou shou zhi'.
After am out of LIFE ctr, Kevin saw me & asked how am I & that I dun looked that well to him. Kevin's v observant.
Saw Chyi Wai, told me next time, anything, just let him know instead of gg to Dr Lee...lol...
He asked if am still angry with him & I told him NO!! If am still angry, tdy wont be coming to see him lor..& he laughed.
He will arranged forme to work at JPs KFC to collect trays..asked if am scared of dirtiness..YES! I am & am allergic to dust too. He asked to give him 2-3 wks to arrange the job for me.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Bleeding after menses stopped
my last day menses just stopped on Sunday 25/9 but on Wed 's evening right after LIFE gym 28/9, started to see some blood. Today even still have & stained on my panty, I've to placed the pad again. So worrying, frustrating..crave for foods & feel so tired.
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