Sunday, February 28, 2010
CNY dinner
jux back from cny dinner, glad am there coz Mr & Mrs Tharman v elated to see me there & personally gave the prize to me as I participated on online quiz. Got a pair of gv movie vouchers. Dinner fantastic, go suckling pig, kou bao, chicken, fish, hou xi fatt choy...etc...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Finally got a vodafone mobile internet
hey gals! I've got myself bonded with M1 newest usb stick that will enable me to connect to internet from home without data cable n wires!! FANTASTIC! aint it, kolz huh? haha
whenever I get bored, sad, destressed, I can be on the net.
whenever I get bored, sad, destressed, I can be on the net.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tdy's appt
With MSW Florence, didn't expect myself to cry out uncontrollably & that she was worried & gave Dr Lee HY a call but got it her schedule is fully booked tdy. Florence wanted me to go A&E to see another pdoc immediately but I refused to go. Later ward me again, HR wont be happy abt it. Coz of recent happenings. I was very hungry, feeling v dizzy & shaky coz I didnt had anything & rush to SGH. Florence offered me some CNY cookies but I had one..I've no appetite.
Last night, was so suicidal & unable to fall asleep. I had rum before bedtime & didnt had med. I bite myself hard on my arms & poked myself. Cried a lot! Eyes damn puffy.
Went to sit at a corner of LIFE gym to have my puff & diabetes milk to keep me "sane"...the auntie staff counter purposely walked to have a drink to have a look at me! I wanted to get the book ED which is on sale & that auntie whom I dun like, asked me whether am ED patient & seeing which doctor. Asked me to wait..pengz, 1.2 hr oredi leh...then OT Florence Chiang came in & waved to me..Surprised to see her but she saw me asking if am not feeling well. She told me she saw the note I left her & see me arnd.
Later, saw Sarah & her mother, yes prev ward 46A!! Glad to see her & she's residing at orchard area & came back for treatment.
Approached the other counter staff & she finally got me the book.
Last night, was so suicidal & unable to fall asleep. I had rum before bedtime & didnt had med. I bite myself hard on my arms & poked myself. Cried a lot! Eyes damn puffy.
Went to sit at a corner of LIFE gym to have my puff & diabetes milk to keep me "sane"...the auntie staff counter purposely walked to have a drink to have a look at me! I wanted to get the book ED which is on sale & that auntie whom I dun like, asked me whether am ED patient & seeing which doctor. Asked me to wait..pengz, 1.2 hr oredi leh...then OT Florence Chiang came in & waved to me..Surprised to see her but she saw me asking if am not feeling well. She told me she saw the note I left her & see me arnd.
Later, saw Sarah & her mother, yes prev ward 46A!! Glad to see her & she's residing at orchard area & came back for treatment.
Approached the other counter staff & she finally got me the book.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Dun remind me of being OBESE
Ya, I knw am very obese & am trying so hard to lose weight! Am just so weighty & weight issue a prob! Tried so many ways but failed..moreover with this festive season of indulging on LNY cookies & feast.
Nice session with dietitian
Ytd at LIFE ctr, enjoyed session with my dietitian P. Nice & friendly & got me open up to her but when she learnt I've depression & suicidal, she try not to talk abt it but somehow or rather need to at certain point of time. Mood affect my BED & asked if am ready to try out replacement meal, instead of hvg instant noodles for lunch, to take milk & fruit. I give "ok" sign.
Scheduled to see them on 12 May, counter staff then said only morning 11 a,m,but I told them, morn got 2 appts at DBC mah, how to come over leh? wah KAO! Kept saying that dietitian put that date leh, cant change. WTF lah!
I went to P & told her, then she changed to 12 Mar where she got whole day session. Then counter staff, har, remain ah? Duhz! Feel like ticking them off sia. The plump lady (sorry, dun mean anything, just to describe which one) & the old lady in uniform kept saying v stress!! Then complained abt referral from clinic A & ward 46A to send inpatient to LIFE ctr for what? ALAMAK, Dr Lee, all need to "jiat yok" take meds from you sia...
Scheduled to see them on 12 May, counter staff then said only morning 11 a,m,but I told them, morn got 2 appts at DBC mah, how to come over leh? wah KAO! Kept saying that dietitian put that date leh, cant change. WTF lah!
I went to P & told her, then she changed to 12 Mar where she got whole day session. Then counter staff, har, remain ah? Duhz! Feel like ticking them off sia. The plump lady (sorry, dun mean anything, just to describe which one) & the old lady in uniform kept saying v stress!! Then complained abt referral from clinic A & ward 46A to send inpatient to LIFE ctr for what? ALAMAK, Dr Lee, all need to "jiat yok" take meds from you sia...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wkends
Fri suppose to hv appt at LIFE ctr but I was hvg fever, went to see GP & oso felt damn nausea. I gained too much weight & v disappointed with myself, I looked even more obese!! I took detox pill, slimming tea, hopefully helps me to lose some weight ya.
Sat, went science ctr, supposingly Siti joining me with her siblings but she's unable to. hmm..oh well. Took me >2 hrs to finish tour at science ctr, mind u, gg to body works costs $20!! A guy challenged me to solve the puzzle of the butterfly using the shapes provided. He was taken aback when I completed within secs! Whala..ya, took a pic of it.
After that, went JP to have hi-tea at Zhou's kitchen & I was damn BLOATED!!!! coz so hungry, ate too much le. Whole day been walking a lot >5 hrs. Went home v tired, wanted to rest. Before I could rest, outta sudden felt so ENERGETIC!! What's wrong with me?
Today gg dietitian at LIFE ctr.
Sat, went science ctr, supposingly Siti joining me with her siblings but she's unable to. hmm..oh well. Took me >2 hrs to finish tour at science ctr, mind u, gg to body works costs $20!! A guy challenged me to solve the puzzle of the butterfly using the shapes provided. He was taken aback when I completed within secs! Whala..ya, took a pic of it.
After that, went JP to have hi-tea at Zhou's kitchen & I was damn BLOATED!!!! coz so hungry, ate too much le. Whole day been walking a lot >5 hrs. Went home v tired, wanted to rest. Before I could rest, outta sudden felt so ENERGETIC!! What's wrong with me?
Today gg dietitian at LIFE ctr.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Suicidal thots
Woke up this morn at 5.30 a.m with racing thots of suicide again. Tears running down my cheeks, woke mother up from her sleep. Feeling hungry, woke up to have slices of wholemeal bread with smuckers orange jam & peanut butter.
There's time, I took morning shower & felt better, I call uncle & no one ans the hp, I set off to work. While waiting for lift, a sudden downpour came, just like my mood. Went back to hse to get the umbrella. Got into a cab, halfway, rain stopped.
Reached office v early, then mgr came in but via centre entry & purposely walked past my cubicle & greeted me.
There's time, I took morning shower & felt better, I call uncle & no one ans the hp, I set off to work. While waiting for lift, a sudden downpour came, just like my mood. Went back to hse to get the umbrella. Got into a cab, halfway, rain stopped.
Reached office v early, then mgr came in but via centre entry & purposely walked past my cubicle & greeted me.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wtc
Morning, mgr came over & talk to me abt what I had discussed with snr mgr last wk. Citing he must stressed me a bit, otherwise I always remain like this (talking as if am not doing any work), keep on his stand he understand my condition but AS A MATTER OF FACT, THEY DON'T!!
Otherwise they dunno how to write in appraisal & that my work is so little & later HR come into picture & blah blah blah....
WTC, WTF...LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Otherwise they dunno how to write in appraisal & that my work is so little & later HR come into picture & blah blah blah....
WTC, WTF...LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AM BACK!!
Happy Chinese New Year! On the eve, went to River HongBao & saw lotsa Uncle Ringo games & UK rides. Mother wanna take some rides but then it's UK type, I might not be able to take it. haha
I told mother to walk in, supposingly the exhibs are inside & yes, there it is!! We took some photos but then it was very humid & our water ain't enough. Mother wanted to buy ice cream but it's unknwn no brand one. Bought some pokka tea drink instead to quench our thirst & went back home.
We alighted at Boon :Lay station & told mother whats the Q about, there's countdown stage by 95.8fm & giving goodie bags & lucky draw nos. No wonder, wanting to buy JD whiskey at Cheers but we see how. I managed to get Jim Beam bourbon whiskey only & we rushed for last bus home.
1st day of CNY, mother whipped up some vegetarian foods & da biao ge fetched us. We're the 1st to reached, followed by 2nd aunt...etc...Everyone was like put on much weight esp PK like a mi le fo...Am already worrying abt my weight coz putting on like 3 kgs!! It's HORRIBLE!! I got take DETOX pills, ending purging a lot & bingeing a lot too!!
This fri gg LIFE ctr see dietitian too.
2nd day, thinking with the free tix to Jurong bird park to see dino, thot we could access BP but only to Dino. Mother told me to sit in the restaurant while she Q, I was famished & ordered turkey ham pasta, nice but not enough then started heavy downpour. Mother came & told me what happened, one said got SC discount, another said NO! I said wait till I got free tix to JBP, I'll bring u to watch bird show better.
Rain was lighter & we try our luck to dino side, was told there was shelter but when we go in, what kinda shelter was that!! Just small umbrellas u see on mobile ice cream motorbikes!! We'll drenched manz!! Frustrated, decided to go home. Luckily we had lunch at the burger restaurant but fish n chips weren't fantastc nor the lamb burger either.
Stayed at home to watch DVDs & even slp & rest coz I dun get enough slp I should be getting! Watched Pink Panther, Zero Sex 2, Wushu.
I told mother to walk in, supposingly the exhibs are inside & yes, there it is!! We took some photos but then it was very humid & our water ain't enough. Mother wanted to buy ice cream but it's unknwn no brand one. Bought some pokka tea drink instead to quench our thirst & went back home.
We alighted at Boon :Lay station & told mother whats the Q about, there's countdown stage by 95.8fm & giving goodie bags & lucky draw nos. No wonder, wanting to buy JD whiskey at Cheers but we see how. I managed to get Jim Beam bourbon whiskey only & we rushed for last bus home.
1st day of CNY, mother whipped up some vegetarian foods & da biao ge fetched us. We're the 1st to reached, followed by 2nd aunt...etc...Everyone was like put on much weight esp PK like a mi le fo...Am already worrying abt my weight coz putting on like 3 kgs!! It's HORRIBLE!! I got take DETOX pills, ending purging a lot & bingeing a lot too!!
This fri gg LIFE ctr see dietitian too.
2nd day, thinking with the free tix to Jurong bird park to see dino, thot we could access BP but only to Dino. Mother told me to sit in the restaurant while she Q, I was famished & ordered turkey ham pasta, nice but not enough then started heavy downpour. Mother came & told me what happened, one said got SC discount, another said NO! I said wait till I got free tix to JBP, I'll bring u to watch bird show better.
Rain was lighter & we try our luck to dino side, was told there was shelter but when we go in, what kinda shelter was that!! Just small umbrellas u see on mobile ice cream motorbikes!! We'll drenched manz!! Frustrated, decided to go home. Luckily we had lunch at the burger restaurant but fish n chips weren't fantastc nor the lamb burger either.
Stayed at home to watch DVDs & even slp & rest coz I dun get enough slp I should be getting! Watched Pink Panther, Zero Sex 2, Wushu.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Activities agenda
1st day of CNY, gg to Da Biao Ge's hse at Serangoon Garden Estate & mother called me to sms him our residential addy. Haha..I can only ultilise my non-cam right now. Biao Ge agreed to give us a lift coz mother will be making special food for all. Dun wanna live in regret.
Just give call to 4th Uncle my pastor, Aunt Moni took the call & spoke to her abt her medication. Too bad, her leg pain so not coming for gathering. Thot of hvg few drinks with her. hehe..Uncle Jim aka Augustine (pastor name) will be coming. Yeah!!
Am ready for my camera..tonight, burning past photos to cd 1st, clear space...hehe
Maybe tmr eve go He Pan & next sat gg science ctr for body works which I've booked the free tix oredi in adv!
Just give call to 4th Uncle my pastor, Aunt Moni took the call & spoke to her abt her medication. Too bad, her leg pain so not coming for gathering. Thot of hvg few drinks with her. hehe..Uncle Jim aka Augustine (pastor name) will be coming. Yeah!!
Am ready for my camera..tonight, burning past photos to cd 1st, clear space...hehe
Maybe tmr eve go He Pan & next sat gg science ctr for body works which I've booked the free tix oredi in adv!
Ajisen lunch
Was like wanting to eat the cha siew ramen & white fish which comes in a set but I really cant finish the noodles! Too much of a big portion, I drank all the soup..so yummy & white fish..I was like damn BLOATED! Went to play & caught a Female Lilo so kawaii ne!!! In red chinese costume.hehe plus 2 little plushies.
Wassup
Wed afternoon, saw email fm mgr citing the nos of o/s case & that they din assign new cases to me but in fact there is! I got feddup, frustrated, angry, I boxed on the table, slam laptop & cried...duhz..I've been struggling hard to clear cases, say until as if I din do anything!!
U saw my med report & u shld knw I've diff concentrating. I went to ladies at lvl 3 & cried my heart out. I rmb what Dr Lee told me, hence, I switched on my hp again, call central appt to see if there's a slot to see Dr Lee on thurs morn. I was very lucky, it was 10.10 a.m.
I went there quite early, heard nurses calling for Dr Lee, whether she's on leave or not & there's a lot of patients waiting for her. Aiyo...coz got uncle & auntie asking nurses whether Dr Lee coming or not. They shld knw ma, morn got ward rounds ya.
Waited till arnd 11a.m. for my no to be flashed. Told Dr Lee about what happened, my mood & my wish for psychodynamic therapy but Dr Lee mentioned that right now with CBT, am still unable to cope, what if that one causes me to be more depressed. Hmm..guess Dr Lee & Kevin got their reason to have me remain on CBT. Anyway, Dr Lee told me she will discuss with Kevin & if that's the case, Kevin won't be my psychologist. Argh...I dun wanna change, I like Kevin to be my psychologist. He's very nice, caring. Thou at prev session, I do feel v tired out by keep asking me to think. hehe :p
Dr Lee prescribed me Zoloft & Lorazepam at low dosages to see how it goes coz she dunno what the hell it will cause me...haha hilarious session with Dr Lee & I enjoyed. I brought up to her abt the weird dream, then she said, is it nightmare or not? lol... The dream of me comitted suicide at her psy ward & she came asking staff to search for potential suicidal tools. Wah! !st time, see Dr Lee laughing heartily leh, I like. :o)
I made something special for Dr Lee, a heart shaped with her name initial & made Dr Lee happy & I felt happy too. Dr Lee mentioned that I should hang arnd with ppl arnd my age. hehe...aiya, must hv same frequency. Then Dr Lee see me in 3 wks time in mar.
Happy Lunar New Year & Happy Valentine's Day 2010.
Cheers.
U saw my med report & u shld knw I've diff concentrating. I went to ladies at lvl 3 & cried my heart out. I rmb what Dr Lee told me, hence, I switched on my hp again, call central appt to see if there's a slot to see Dr Lee on thurs morn. I was very lucky, it was 10.10 a.m.
I went there quite early, heard nurses calling for Dr Lee, whether she's on leave or not & there's a lot of patients waiting for her. Aiyo...coz got uncle & auntie asking nurses whether Dr Lee coming or not. They shld knw ma, morn got ward rounds ya.
Waited till arnd 11a.m. for my no to be flashed. Told Dr Lee about what happened, my mood & my wish for psychodynamic therapy but Dr Lee mentioned that right now with CBT, am still unable to cope, what if that one causes me to be more depressed. Hmm..guess Dr Lee & Kevin got their reason to have me remain on CBT. Anyway, Dr Lee told me she will discuss with Kevin & if that's the case, Kevin won't be my psychologist. Argh...I dun wanna change, I like Kevin to be my psychologist. He's very nice, caring. Thou at prev session, I do feel v tired out by keep asking me to think. hehe :p
Dr Lee prescribed me Zoloft & Lorazepam at low dosages to see how it goes coz she dunno what the hell it will cause me...haha hilarious session with Dr Lee & I enjoyed. I brought up to her abt the weird dream, then she said, is it nightmare or not? lol... The dream of me comitted suicide at her psy ward & she came asking staff to search for potential suicidal tools. Wah! !st time, see Dr Lee laughing heartily leh, I like. :o)
I made something special for Dr Lee, a heart shaped with her name initial & made Dr Lee happy & I felt happy too. Dr Lee mentioned that I should hang arnd with ppl arnd my age. hehe...aiya, must hv same frequency. Then Dr Lee see me in 3 wks time in mar.
Happy Lunar New Year & Happy Valentine's Day 2010.
Cheers.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Depression runs in the family
Ytd, mother told me that my paternal grandfather does have depression, I was like, WHAT?! Now that I dun pin hope that I'll recover from depression - MDD. Useless to take meds, hence, tmr onwards, dun take prozac, okie, thats it! I had enuf oredi.
Nothing but more scars!!
Docs n nurses, pls stop poking intravenous needles onmy right hand anymore!! U saw urself, veins unable to see well & the scars still there!! Pain sia!! Adding more scars only!! I look ugly with them, okie!!
Herbal remedies
Rhizoma Atractylodis Macrocephalae http://www.herbalremedies.com/atractylodes-information.html
Radix Rubiae http://www.tcmbasics.com/materiamedica/radix_rubiae.htm
Radix Panacis Quinquefolii http://www.tcmtreatment.com/herbs/0-xiyangshen.htm
Radix et Rhizoma Rhei http://www.tcmtreatment.com/herbs/0-dahuang.htm
Folium Nelumbinis http://www.herbalshop.com/herbs/common_herb24.htm
Radix Cynanchi Otophylli http://translate.google.com.sg/translate?hl=en&sl=zh-CN&u=http://www.zhong-yao.net/zycx/Q/200802/5297.html&ei=0R5yS_DbEdCHkQWdkoCDCg&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CCEQ7gEwBA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dradix%2Bcynanchi%2Botophylli%26hl%3Den
Radix Rubiae http://www.tcmbasics.com/materiamedica/radix_rubiae.htm
Radix Panacis Quinquefolii http://www.tcmtreatment.com/herbs/0-xiyangshen.htm
Radix et Rhizoma Rhei http://www.tcmtreatment.com/herbs/0-dahuang.htm
Folium Nelumbinis http://www.herbalshop.com/herbs/common_herb24.htm
Radix Cynanchi Otophylli http://translate.google.com.sg/translate?hl=en&sl=zh-CN&u=http://www.zhong-yao.net/zycx/Q/200802/5297.html&ei=0R5yS_DbEdCHkQWdkoCDCg&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CCEQ7gEwBA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dradix%2Bcynanchi%2Botophylli%26hl%3Den
Appt at NHC ytd
Reached NHC cardiac lab at 10a.m. & was being injected with lotsa meds. Doc looked at me when he learnt I got depression which was stated in the form. One of the snr staff nurses knw how to appreciate my hama beads, zhao cai mao & even kept touching my valentine butterfly.lol...
I was on threadmill, told to be on it for 10 mins with ECGs & injections...2nd time which was faster, me damn breathless, no strength to carry on & v dizzy that nurse need to support me from back to prevent me from falling. Doc stop the threadmill & lemme rest on bed lying down, more injections!! Doc injected something yellowish to stress my heart since cant continue on threadmill.
Told can go for lunch, I had smoked salmon with creamy cheese bread n iced mocha & headed to LIFE ctr to rest, cosy corner mah. Morn, Kevin saw me there with my right hand with injection. Afternoon, saw Dr Lee's name on the consultation rm. Saw Eric & asked me why am there. Duhz, must hv appts with someone there to be there meh?
Asked to go back at 1p.m. for scanning..more injections again...cant move, dun cough nor anything..plaxce hands above my head lying on the machine & got scanned for 15 mins!! After that, cardiologist told me to drink milo, milk coffee whatever beverages & eat something...I've no appetite at all! I drank resource diabetic strawberry milk then..scan again at 3.30p.m. Been resting at LIFE ctr during the waiting time as NHC was packed & stuffy.
Cardiologist told me doc say unable to see heart vein as med still residing in my liver n whatever, told to drink more water to flush it out & eat something again! I went to LIFE ctr again, nap & drank 3x 250ml of water!!! Went back to NHC again at 4.45 p.m. scanned for 15 mins...argh..am so tired out oredi. Atlas, can go home & wait for result in mar to see doc.
I was on threadmill, told to be on it for 10 mins with ECGs & injections...2nd time which was faster, me damn breathless, no strength to carry on & v dizzy that nurse need to support me from back to prevent me from falling. Doc stop the threadmill & lemme rest on bed lying down, more injections!! Doc injected something yellowish to stress my heart since cant continue on threadmill.
Told can go for lunch, I had smoked salmon with creamy cheese bread n iced mocha & headed to LIFE ctr to rest, cosy corner mah. Morn, Kevin saw me there with my right hand with injection. Afternoon, saw Dr Lee's name on the consultation rm. Saw Eric & asked me why am there. Duhz, must hv appts with someone there to be there meh?
Asked to go back at 1p.m. for scanning..more injections again...cant move, dun cough nor anything..plaxce hands above my head lying on the machine & got scanned for 15 mins!! After that, cardiologist told me to drink milo, milk coffee whatever beverages & eat something...I've no appetite at all! I drank resource diabetic strawberry milk then..scan again at 3.30p.m. Been resting at LIFE ctr during the waiting time as NHC was packed & stuffy.
Cardiologist told me doc say unable to see heart vein as med still residing in my liver n whatever, told to drink more water to flush it out & eat something again! I went to LIFE ctr again, nap & drank 3x 250ml of water!!! Went back to NHC again at 4.45 p.m. scanned for 15 mins...argh..am so tired out oredi. Atlas, can go home & wait for result in mar to see doc.
B&H Detox pill
After searching high n low, managed to get the B&H detox pills. Ya, wanna dl lotsa toxins inside my stomach. Am way too OBESE & I hate it!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Miz him a lot!
I really miz ZT a lot! Used to <3 him a lot but I just couldn't accept his love for me, I jus dunno why. Prob due to I was molested when I was as young as 15+ & even last yr! ZT respected my decision & always asked me to call him but I just didn't. However, these few days, been thinking of him, he even sent a pet to me! I din know that...aww...guess I overlook. There's an impulsive side that I wanted to be with him by his side. He's so suave & adorable. Even if I get to hug him & be with him for a few seconds, am sastisfied. Ya, he's a guy with lotsa gals! Thats it!! He's really too IRRESISTABLE!! haha..oh well...ZT, I will checking on my hps ya.
Heart Perfusion Test tmr
Tmr gg NHC for heart perfusion test, got a call from nurse telling me it'll take 3 hrs & if needed addition test, may continue for another 3 hrs or scheduled next day & expect to be full day. No caffeine beverages but can eat.
Learn from online that may require female to wear a special gown again!? Oh no, am not really use to it ya coz I've been prev molested twice & it's total bad horrible experience!! -_-!
Learn from online that may require female to wear a special gown again!? Oh no, am not really use to it ya coz I've been prev molested twice & it's total bad horrible experience!! -_-!
Happenings over the wkends
I've no mood to go work on fri which I've took leave to rest. I dun have enuf slp & I get v frustrating abt this! Afternoon, did a lot of the hama beads on "fook" & decorate nicely. Each design took me an hr on it as each has unique design, ya, I dun repeat the same design. It's one & only, LIMITED EDITION!
Thurs night, went to JE to see TCM & I was told to pay $8 incl bottles coz am working, oh well, it's still much cheaper than other TCMs. Doctor kept looking at my eyes which made me v uncomfortable. My mood's better but still I prefer doctor at Teck Soon.
Sat, did few more hama beads, did the "Zhao Cai Mao" & "Valentine Butterfly". My 1st attempt on fortune cat took a toll on me & I felt v exhausted. @nd one, improvision from the 1st & looks much better. hahaha
Evening, I packed my things for Sun's morn shoot.
Woke up on sun at 7.30 a.m. Got sms from S that he will be seeing me bat 9.15a.m instead. My guess was correct, he didn't exit at corporation road & headed somewhere to JW ext!! which is damn far in, way out from JP. He called me at 9.30 am when am oreadi at the greens for directions. By the time, S reached greens, oredi 10a.m. scorching sun!I've melted under the hot sun.
S is not really that professional as btwn "twist" & "turn" ur body, it makes so much difference!! Said he din expect the morn sun to be so hot. Duhz...Pose Pose pose...asking me to do scretching ex in act act...atlas, ask me to cycle.
I duin like the way he said that I cycle like no license! COME ON!! dist so short & curvy, expect me to balance well, hence I cycle the whole round with power & he just damn slow! Managed to take only 2 SHOTS under shade. DUHZ!! Like that oso can be part time photographer ah!!
By the time finished photo shoot session, I managed to get to CC in time to give barrister the LNY decor I've made for her. She was v elated, u could see her smile frm the bottom of her heart. We took some photos. My complexion darkens a LOT under hrs under hot sun!!
Thurs night, went to JE to see TCM & I was told to pay $8 incl bottles coz am working, oh well, it's still much cheaper than other TCMs. Doctor kept looking at my eyes which made me v uncomfortable. My mood's better but still I prefer doctor at Teck Soon.
Sat, did few more hama beads, did the "Zhao Cai Mao" & "Valentine Butterfly". My 1st attempt on fortune cat took a toll on me & I felt v exhausted. @nd one, improvision from the 1st & looks much better. hahaha
Evening, I packed my things for Sun's morn shoot.
Woke up on sun at 7.30 a.m. Got sms from S that he will be seeing me bat 9.15a.m instead. My guess was correct, he didn't exit at corporation road & headed somewhere to JW ext!! which is damn far in, way out from JP. He called me at 9.30 am when am oreadi at the greens for directions. By the time, S reached greens, oredi 10a.m. scorching sun!I've melted under the hot sun.
S is not really that professional as btwn "twist" & "turn" ur body, it makes so much difference!! Said he din expect the morn sun to be so hot. Duhz...Pose Pose pose...asking me to do scretching ex in act act...atlas, ask me to cycle.
I duin like the way he said that I cycle like no license! COME ON!! dist so short & curvy, expect me to balance well, hence I cycle the whole round with power & he just damn slow! Managed to take only 2 SHOTS under shade. DUHZ!! Like that oso can be part time photographer ah!!
By the time finished photo shoot session, I managed to get to CC in time to give barrister the LNY decor I've made for her. She was v elated, u could see her smile frm the bottom of her heart. We took some photos. My complexion darkens a LOT under hrs under hot sun!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tiga Plush Toy
SM bought one from me then lunch time mgr came over asked me what's the Tiga for & why I bought so many. Duhz, not that I bought but I caught them by playing games in entertainment ctr & it's limited edition. Mgr told me he still dun get it, play games & get the toy. Asked me anyone bought from me, I said yup, SM bought lor. Then mgr said he'll consider.
Aiya, last time when I 1st join mgr's team, said canto ppl v "cat" with ang pow, then you give us the impression u're v GENEROUS lor! Then if u wanna help me tide over, why not just buy from me will do, instead of asking so much qns.
After he back fm lunch, I was surprised why he threw $50 on my table. Mgr said, no mah, buy the Tiga from you lor, you not seliing on other ppl behalf right. No lah, it's myself one. Anyway, thanks lor.
Aiya, last time when I 1st join mgr's team, said canto ppl v "cat" with ang pow, then you give us the impression u're v GENEROUS lor! Then if u wanna help me tide over, why not just buy from me will do, instead of asking so much qns.
After he back fm lunch, I was surprised why he threw $50 on my table. Mgr said, no mah, buy the Tiga from you lor, you not seliing on other ppl behalf right. No lah, it's myself one. Anyway, thanks lor.
LNY cookies
Went IKEA just now, bought 2 x traditional nonya pineapple tarts & 1 x cashew nut, moreover they're affordable at $8 & $6.50. Ytd, bought melting almond at $6.50 oso. All homemade by Simei East Kitchen. I wanted to buy the love letter oso but hor, wait I binge even more than how, purge ah?
I almost purge just now when I was halfway thru my meal of poached salmon & mushroom soup. I din finish at all, felt so bloated.
I almost purge just now when I was halfway thru my meal of poached salmon & mushroom soup. I din finish at all, felt so bloated.
LNY decor - All copyrights reserved
Last night, after shower, mother specially ordered to have "wu fu lin men" done on hama beads. I took up the challenge as my chinese is 'pte ltd' & I need to figure out the mirror image 1st before placing the beads in place. Had done the "fu", tonite rushing to do the other 3 remaining words.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Psychcentral
This is the site http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/ where Dr Lee had prev printed telling me I've BPD.
Read more about Borderline Personality Disorder here http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/symptoms-of-borderline-personality-disorder/
Major Depressive Disorder http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx22.htm
Panic Disorder http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx28.htm
I took quizzes here & showed to her but she ordered, STOP DOING IT!
Read more about Borderline Personality Disorder here http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/symptoms-of-borderline-personality-disorder/
Major Depressive Disorder http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx22.htm
Panic Disorder http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx28.htm
I took quizzes here & showed to her but she ordered, STOP DOING IT!
Alternative medicine
Ever try giving a go at TCM. I myself did initially at Bao Zhong Tang for diabetes & depression, seen by Dr Yang Hua. She had flew back to Shanghai & am still in contact with her. During the period, under her treatment, my depression improved but medicines are to be brewed & ultra ex.
Atlas, found Teck Soon Medical Hall @281, South Bridge Rd, opp Tooth Relic Temple diagonally across the road. Dr Chow is good & medicines are in capsules & liquid form. However, due to my financial situation, am unable to afford any more visits.
Mother had went to the Buddhist Free Clinic @ Jurong East for her lumber spine & she found improvement, dun hurt as before. Hence, am gonna go there to give a try. Medicines are in liquid form & they have acupunture too.
Locations as per url http://www.sbfc.org.sg/en/history.htm
Better than always taking all the western poison stuffs inside me.
Atlas, found Teck Soon Medical Hall @281, South Bridge Rd, opp Tooth Relic Temple diagonally across the road. Dr Chow is good & medicines are in capsules & liquid form. However, due to my financial situation, am unable to afford any more visits.
Mother had went to the Buddhist Free Clinic @ Jurong East for her lumber spine & she found improvement, dun hurt as before. Hence, am gonna go there to give a try. Medicines are in liquid form & they have acupunture too.
Locations as per url http://www.sbfc.org.sg/en/history.htm
Better than always taking all the western poison stuffs inside me.
Photo shoot this coming sun morn
Oh wow! Was surprised to get a call from Simon SPH SHAPE that he will be taking photo shoots for me this coming sun morn 9 a.m. at Taman Jurong Greens nearby my residence. I was like huh? Wow! Got photo shoot somemore ah. Wah! 1st time model leh, so EXCITED!!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Whats wrong with me?
FEDDUP! I dun feel like doing anything right now, except to knk off earlier to go somewhere where I can cool down. Am bursting bursting erupting. YES!!! Am gonna erupt anytime soon. Restlessness, cant keep still, thinking of something else. WTF!
What's wrong with me? I can't do anything right today & I feel like just give me an injection to put me to sleep 4ever good, okie?!
All the anti-depressant aint helping much & kinda like treatment resistance. What the heck is this!! Psychotherapy dun seem to help much either. Had enuf of all these oredi!!
What's wrong with me? I can't do anything right today & I feel like just give me an injection to put me to sleep 4ever good, okie?!
All the anti-depressant aint helping much & kinda like treatment resistance. What the heck is this!! Psychotherapy dun seem to help much either. Had enuf of all these oredi!!
INSONMIA
Not again! Can't fall asleep again & am getting frustrated!! I'm in foul mood so stay away from me. Dun provoke me either, otherwise, let u have a taste of my horsy kick.
Binge eat on way home
Last eve,on my way home on bus 198. I was damn famished! I took out my pretz & binge on it. Wah! Feeling's ultra high!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Suicidal thots
Oh dear, suicidal thots = evil is hovering my mind these few days. Argh!! It's terrible & my mood's terrible! I can't fall asleep at night even after taking 50mg atarax thou feeling sedated. Doc, can prescribed me melatonin instead. Today went to see ENT, give neurobion & gingko biloba, hmm..see me in 6 mths time & do another hearing test.
Went to coffee toast at SGH, ordered a set B, 2buns with coffee & half boiled eggs & wanton noodles dry. Pengz! The portion of wanton noodles is damn big that I ate 1/3 of it. While waiting, Sis Eunice came to me! Aiya, am so happy to see Sis Eunice, always her smiling face brightens my day. Too bad, she got audit today hence cant join me for lunch. She will be flying off for overseas course this fri for 5 wks, telling me to call Dr Tan HC my cute cute endocrin or her colleagues NE at DBC if there's something crops up or I needed assistance. So nice of her. :o)
Proceed to LIFE ctr, planned to exercise, feeling damn obese. I was looking thru the window display of books there, I heard the court shoes sounds, turned my head & saw Dr Lee..haha I waved to her & she smiled asking I seeing Kevin. Nope, I replied, seeing Eric. See ya.
I was filling up the dietitain food report when Eric came out. Read my appt, saying nope, until cardiologist cleared everything, then am allowed to exercise! See, nexy week u're hvg heart perfusion test & seeing cardiologist in late mar. Wait ok, it's not something u must rush to finish. Ok then, I went back to office.
I can't even cycle, only brisk wlaking allowed!
Am sad.... -_-!!
Went to coffee toast at SGH, ordered a set B, 2buns with coffee & half boiled eggs & wanton noodles dry. Pengz! The portion of wanton noodles is damn big that I ate 1/3 of it. While waiting, Sis Eunice came to me! Aiya, am so happy to see Sis Eunice, always her smiling face brightens my day. Too bad, she got audit today hence cant join me for lunch. She will be flying off for overseas course this fri for 5 wks, telling me to call Dr Tan HC my cute cute endocrin or her colleagues NE at DBC if there's something crops up or I needed assistance. So nice of her. :o)
Proceed to LIFE ctr, planned to exercise, feeling damn obese. I was looking thru the window display of books there, I heard the court shoes sounds, turned my head & saw Dr Lee..haha I waved to her & she smiled asking I seeing Kevin. Nope, I replied, seeing Eric. See ya.
I was filling up the dietitain food report when Eric came out. Read my appt, saying nope, until cardiologist cleared everything, then am allowed to exercise! See, nexy week u're hvg heart perfusion test & seeing cardiologist in late mar. Wait ok, it's not something u must rush to finish. Ok then, I went back to office.
I can't even cycle, only brisk wlaking allowed!
Am sad.... -_-!!
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