Extremely bad mood

past few weeks, been i extremely bad mood. Esp today, had the impulse to go seoul garden to indulge in the variety of food!! Feeling damn frustrated, sad n down...went there, had the meat one piece each & it's much more than my official portion, took lalas...yong tau foo, few big slices of fish...5 slices of brownies, 6 scoops of ice creams, had some spaghetti n crackers...after a while, there's group of tourists n couples or friends groups..one couple sat beside me.

His gf is about my size & when I saw how she piled up her plate full of meats, seafood n others & the ay she ate really made me felt so SICK & feel like vomitting, thats when I had enough & signalled to th uncle to clear my stuffs. Walked to paragon to get stuffs from growing fun. After which, I went to SGH for my appt with Kevin. It was still early at 2.30p.m anw, I registered 1st, went to LIFE to relax n there met Florence Chiang.

My turn to come, hd a long session with Kevin. Told me to remember to tell Dr Lee abt my suicidal thots, bingeing (told me to call Pauline), whether can take alcohol n abt my medication. Hmm..I did purge at times but not much except I took B&H pills SHAPE tea to detox.

Whenever at home, cant tolerate mother how she reacts most of the times by sighing & angry for no reason. Sometimes I talk to her nicely but she got angry oso. Always say I took med  get easily agitated but she oso need to see psychiatrist which lotsa doctors told her so it's long term.

Not that I dun understnd my mother but I really had enough!! Yes, she had only me left with her coz dad at apex harmony lodge but cant always expect others to do the same as you like or wish, right? Dun intrude into my privacy, please repect my own privacy. Doesn't mean everything I have to let you know. Just like NHC MSW Jessie told her about, coz were too close we end up clashing. Which I totally agreed with Jessie.

No matter what, mother still dun get it. she even mentioned if one day, I were to get married  migrate, she'll follow me. Sure but dun interrupt my family life. I felt being strangled!! I can go for haircut myself n need not u to lie to others that I need u to accompany jus becoz u wanna make sure hairdresser did a nice cut for me. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am big enuf already, dun treat me like a baby!! ARGH!!!! I need FREEDOM!!

Upon reaching, asked me how's everything, hows appt n blah...argh..dun insist on me doing ur way, okay!