17/9, thurs wee morning, 4 a.m. Woke up from nightmare and there's a voice calling out to me, followed by seizures and facial expressions too. I couldn't fall back to sleep again and I had to wake up at 8 a.m. as I had appt with Dr Lee Huei Yen at 10.30 a.m.
I was actually very afraid Dr Lee might ward me cause I've self-inflicted injuries to myself and having suicidal thoughts in which 4 of it auto came. Recently, at work, dont know why for no apparrent reason that I broke down and ended taking pm leave. 2 dued to stresses at work, tried pushing myself to do as much as I can.
Dr Lee printed out some personality disorder articles & asked whether do they apply to me and I don't agree totally. She said I can disagree but there's 2 aspects where she noticed of me. Citing must find the root of causes to cure me otherwise I keep having depression and suicide thoughts, not saying medications don't help but to a certain extend. No point keep changing medications. Dr Lee asked me what am I going to do when I've suicide thoughts & I replied don't know when questioned a few times. Then she asked me what's going on my mind now, I replied nothing.
After that, she said I good in internet search, can look up and research. Dr Lee seeing me in 3 wks time and must tell her about it.
Dr Lee wanted to put me back on fluvoxetine but I'm very floaty the next day, then she prescribed lexapro escitalopram 10mg which has lesser side effects than venlafaxine. To lift my insonmia, Dr Lee prescribed me Stilnox CR Zolpidem in which is optional.
Last night, took lexapro at 8.30 pm 1 hr after dinner, within 1/2 hr, I could feel myself being sedative. I tucked in bed early at 9.30 pm thou half awake while being sedative. Had a good night sleep and woke up at 6.30 a.m. on friday 18/9.
I'm still drowsy with headache, dry mouth and don't know why got diarrhea. Maybe the lexapro huh.
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