Upsetting

During friday lunch, received call from Sis Pat that the CDSMP workshop is postphoned & I called mother up whether wanna go Ngee Ann City to watch lion dance competition since weather is good. Performance ain't that exciting, could be due to it's traditional & not free-style.

Mother wanted to go on sat to catch the performance and I didn't really wanted to as I was very tired out and bodyaching. Woke up at 2.50 pm on sat. Reached home quite late on friday. Told mother, even if I accompany her, I will go shopping and she just watch the lion dance competition. She planned to set off at 6 p.m and later blamed me by saying: "If I've known earlier, my gal doesn't want to watch, I go there by myself earlier." What is mother trying to say manz! Told her beforehand already.

When we reached there, asked if she wanted to share sushi and she agreed too when she just wanted the curry puff only. After buying dinner, mother ticked me off for buying so much sushi - inside consists of 10. I got fed up also, I ate 5 sushi and went off for my shopping for sports apparels since the fair is on.

Got myself 2 FILA polo tees for $19.90 each and mother say why I paid so much for polo tee, asked me nice meh? Haiz! Am the one wearing, if I like it, I buy. Why bother me so much! Making me as if am still small little kid, need to listen to mummy's words. Always tell people am "big baby". when you're the ONE whose CONTROLLING ME! Mother popped questions on what occassion I wear the Fila polo tee, I replied saying anytime. At times, we just don't see eye to eye at all!

For past few weeks, having severe gastroenteritis and spent so much money on medical fees at GP clinic and very stressful at work. I'm extremely EXHAUSTED! Glipizide making me fat too & I've put on 5 kgs!!

It hurts me a lot! I cried myself to sleep but can't. I just poke deeply with my fingernails on my hands & thighs to ease the pain deep inside me. Feel like even taking my own life & leave this sad world.